Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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