Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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