Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
