ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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