my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
