it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
