Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
