Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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