Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
