dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
