census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
