when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
