I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize