You really coming over, don't trick.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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