using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
