I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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