If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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