i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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