did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
