i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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