She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
