hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
