do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
