i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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