:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
