just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
