You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
