the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
