Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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