He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
