Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
