she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize