Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Your cock deserves a montage
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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