It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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