so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
