I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
