My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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