Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize