i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
try to milk me bitch
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize