he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The Olympian is in my bed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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