My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
