my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
