As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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