Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
