I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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