2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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