I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
