SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
