Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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