theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize