We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
