come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
