How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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