You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
