Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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