I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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