thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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