Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize